The Emotional Response to Negative Reviews

 

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I was feeling proud of myself a few Fridays ago. It was the start of the weekend, and I’d just uploaded a new episode of my podcast, “Missing in the Carolinas,” which I had decided to put out weekly with the help of an intern and a freelance writer. My production schedule had never been consistent before I went back and forth between weekly to bi-monthly episodes. I scrolled through the podcast app on my phone, looking at the reviews. I noticed the number of starred reviews was approaching 100, then stopped short when I saw a listener had posted a new review: 

"I think this is a great podcast, well put together and cases I hadn’t heard of! Although I would like it a little more if she didn’t talk about herself so much. We are here for the story of the victims . . . not the story of the author/narrator’s life. Great narration and still listening for a reason."

This person left a three-star review. A three-star review? I thought to myself. They said it was a great podcast and featured case they hadn’t heard of. The narration is good. Still listening. So why the three-star review? Because the podcast host occasionally talks about herself? 

I’d be lying if I said the review didn’t give me whiplash. It felt like a backhanded compliment. Why did they even bother? I felt like one of those pro athletes who are told to “shut up and just play sports” when they courageously decide to take a stand on something. Then I began racking my brain on when I’ve talked about myself on the podcast. I do it in my sponsor messages, but almost every podcaster I know does it and you can easily skip past those. If I’ve lived in a place where there is a missing person or a crime, I will mention my connection or tie to it. I feel as a podcaster that gives me credibility when discussing certain places. Why should Renee Roberson be the one to talk about a crime in Western North Carolina? Maybe because she grew up there, went to high school and college there, and knows about the area and media coverage of the case.

I spent the morning in a dark fog, all the joy I had felt hours earlier dissipated over one review. For three years I’ve produced the podcast all on my own, with no corporate sponsors or podcasting networks, from my guest room in our house with limited recording equipment, yet I’m being told “not to talk about myself too much.” 

I took to social media, venting about my experience. And there, fortunately, my friends, many of whom are writers, provided voices of reason. 

"Unfortunately people love to show their dominance on social media by bringing other's down. Consider the source and move on. "

"I’m not sure if this will make you feel better, but reviews don’t matter at all for most podcasts. They’re great for social proof and it’s nice to share wonderful ones but 99% of people don’t find podcasts through ratings & reviews. If it’s constructive, take it to heart and improve - if it’s not, keep moving on!"

"We all tend to focus on the one single bad comment and not all the good ones. Keep “well put together” and “new cases” and pitch the rest. (Advice I try to give myself and often can’t hear.)" 

I took another look at my reviews. Out of twelve, two mentioned me talking about myself too much and gave me three stars. The other ten were overwhelmingly positive. Why do we always take the negative criticism to heart, even when we know it doesn’t have much merit? I guess it’s the way our brains our wired. These days I still scowl when I see that review on my app, but I tell myself they can always unsubscribe from my free podcast whenever they want to.

Renee Roberson is an award-winning writer and host/creator of the true crime podcast, "Missing in the Podcast," which is approaching 150,000 downloads. Learn more at www.missinginthecarolinas.com.

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4 comments constructive criticism, emotional response to negative feedback, Missing in the Carolinas, receiving negative reviews, Renee Roberson

When Taking Criticism is Hard

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It’s been kind of a rough week over here. I’ve made a few errors in a magazine I edit recently, and that realization has made me feel terrible. One was a pretty big whopper—I accidentally ran a wine column in our new issue that we ran in March 2020. I’m not sure what I’m more upset about—the fact that I mistakenly went into the wrong e-mail folder to retrieve the file or that it didn’t even resonate with me that I read or edited it before. The columnist was not happy when he figured it out, resulting in a terse e-mail to me that made my heart sink. A few hours later, another writer reached out to ask me why I had asked him to interview someone for his monthly column, asked me to clarify what angle I wanted him to take, and later sent me an e-mail right before I went bed basically telling me my assignment was not a good one and listing all the reasons why. I felt personally attacked, because I’m the only one responsible for planning content for our magazine. I'm also the only proofreader, which leaves a wide margin for error, in my opinion. For anyone that knows I struggle with insomnia, accidentally reading that e-mail before bed sent me into a spiral that kept me awake until 3 a.m., running scenarios over and over in my mind of how I could solve this problem. I’ve also been working on a podcast episode about a missing person in my state and am emotional after talking with his family and trying to find the right words to put in the script about his case. 

For someone who is on the edge of a creative burnout, these types of critical comments and conversations can be devastating. I tried to ask myself why two unhappy e-mails are outweighing the other positive comments I frequently receive about my work. I think creatives tend to be perfectionists and we take mistakes to heart, because we simply don’t like to make them or have our shortcomings pointed out. I found a blog post that discussed how creatives are much more likely to recall negative performances or criticisms that positive ones. Why is this, and why do these thought spirals lead to cognitive distortions? I feel like I’m not alone in this struggle. How often have we received rejections from an agent, editor, contest judge, or literary journal that made us feel as if our writing was not worthy and we should give up? I know I have. 

For today, I’m going to ask for some extra snuggles from my dogs, maybe treat myself to a coffee and a doughnut from a new restaurant that opened nearby, and get out and go for a walk in the almost 70 degree weather. I’ll take deep breaths and go through my “Atta Girl” folder, where I keep e-mails I’ve received over the years with positive comments and praise to remind myself that everyone has bad days, and we won’t always get it right. 

Do you find you take negative criticism to heart more than the accolades? Why do you think this is?

Renee Roberson is an award-winning writer and editor who also hosts the true crime podcast Missing in the Carolinas. Learn more about her at FinishedPages.com.

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6 comments avoiding burnout, constructive criticism, handling, Renee Roberson

How Do You Know When to Give Up?

 

I have one young adult manuscript I’ve spent years working on, and finally published on the free digital platform Wattpad last year. I also entered the first 20 pages in a book adaptation contest almost a year ago. After having been turned down by numerous literary agents, I thought the book, which is told from the point of view of a young man who has taken his own life, might have potential as an adapted work. 

After a long weekend spent editing and writing magazine copy for my day job, I received my feedback from the contest in my inbox last night. It was not good, and probably was the last thing I needed to read when I was already under a great deal of stress.

This is the second time I’ve submitted my story to a contest and was basically told it isn’t marketable. The person in charge of writing my critique called the premise of the book “bizarre,” and also said the following: 

It covers quite heavy subject matter—molestation, depression, suicide—and yet the intended audience for this seems to be in the YA range, given the young(ish) age of all the main characters. These are subjects that are generally not covered in films/TV shows intended for younger audiences, adding yet another complication to the potential marketplace success of this piece. 

I was a little confused because I read a lot of YA, and from what I can tell, dark sells. Also, plenty of YA novels feature characters that are 17-18 years old. These are themes that are covered in young adult novels, and have also been in adaptations (mostly on streaming services, I’ve noticed). So this led me to wonder if it is simply time to give up on this book (which was inspired by a real-life event that happened when I was in high school). Maybe it’s my writing and delivery that aren’t marketable. 

I’m not going to lie and say I suck at writing. I have enough confidence in myself to know that there are specific things I can write well, such as podcast scripts, flash fiction and magazine articles. But maybe young adult fiction is where I need to hang up my hat. The other thing I could possibly do is go through one last round of professional editing and then self publish it. I’m creating an audience with “Missing in the Carolinas,” and I’m pretty sure the listeners of the podcast don’t mind dark themes. It’s hard to know, but it’s something to think about. It’s hard not to feel depressed about critical feedback, no matter where it comes from. I mentioned earlier in this post that I've received comments that the book wasn't marketable. I also received positive feedback once from an artist grant application that the characters were very well developed and the committee thought I would be able to finish the book successfully without the grant. No wonder I'm confused!

I have another YA novel I wrote a few years ago during NaNoWriMo that may have more potential, so I’ll also consider working more on that one in the future instead. I still have dreams of being a YA novelist, so I’m not sure I’m ready to give up on that just yet. 

Renee Roberson is an award-winning freelance writer and magazine editor who also hosts a true crime podcast called "Missing in the Carolinas." Learn more at FinishedPages.com.

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9 comments constructive criticism, handling rejection, learning when to quit a project, writing young adult fiction

Why You Should Attend a Writer's Conference

© Ursula Graham | Dreamstime Stock Photos

After the discouraging experience I had during my critique at my regional Society of Children's Book Writers & Illustrators conference last year, I was a little nervous about signing up again. But after returning from my first day at the conference this year, I'm very glad I did. Here are a few reasons I recommend you attend a writer's conference, no matter how big or small:

1. You meet new people who share similar writing styles and genres. For an introvert like me, this is big. Luckily I had friends at the conference last year and this year who kept me from sitting in the back of the room and introduced me to other writers with similar interests. This can lead to new critique partners, which helps kick your butt in gear when it comes to producing pages and actually submitting your work.

2. You might have an epiphany (or two) about your project. This year I signed up for an industry intensive about using conceptual metaphors and similes in fiction writing. I knew this was something that could really beef up my YA manuscript, and boy, was I right. After four hours, I had pages and pages of notes and was able to go into my manuscript during the actual workshop and play around with the imagery on the pages. I already feel like my writing is stronger because of the extra time and money I invested in the intensive. The other epiphany I had was during a breakout session on writing humor. When I first walked in, I thought, "this isn't going to do me any good because I'm not really funny." My YA is very dark and gritty and my middle-grade novel has some funny scenes in it, but they are few and far between. After listening to examples of how to add in humor to middle-grade and YA books, it hit me. The missing element to my middle-grade novel, the reason why it didn't resonate with the few agents I sent it out to, is because I wasn't taking advantage of opportunities to exaggerate the humorous situations in the story. Again, I started scribbling notes and came out of the session with the enthusiasm necessary to pick up those pages again and make the main character much stronger.

3. You might finally get validation that you actually know what you're doing. As I mentioned earlier, I took the opening pages of my YA last year and stumbled out of the session feeling like a gal only pretending to be a writer. Despite that, I did change the POV of my story from multiple characters to one, as was suggested in my critique. This year, I paid for two critiques and got very positive feedback, along with constructive criticism. But the way everything was presented to me made complete sense, gave me hope that my project is marketable, and has me revved up to begin revisions Monday. If I had given up after one negative experience, I would still be stuck.

Attending writing conferences is tough. They can be expensive and take you way out of your comfort zone. But you can start small by attending local, more affordable writing workshops (like I did) and move on to the bigger events. I promise you will come out of it with renewed energy and enthusiasm.

Photo by Jeanette Charlet Photography

Renee Roberson is an award-winning freelance writer and editor who is already thinking of how she can squeeze in a 50,000-word book during National Novel Writing Month along with the revisions on her other two still unpublished books. She also blogs at Renee's Pages.

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1 comment constructive criticism, critiques, industry intensives, Renee Roberson, Writing Conferences

The Importance of Constructive Criticism

Revisions will always have their ups and downs.

Have you ever picked up a book and been completely hooked by the first page, even the first paragraph? Here are a few examples of first pages that have hooked me in the past few months:

“The way I figure it, everyone gets a miracle. Like, I will probably never be struck by lightning, or win a Nobel Prize, or become the dictator of a small nation in the Pacific Islands, or contract terminal ear cancer, or spontaneously combust . . . I could have married the queen of England or survived months at sea. But my miracle was different. My miracle was this: out of all the houses in all the subdivisions in all of Florida, I ended up living next door to Margo Roth Spiegelman.” From Paper Towns by John Green

“When I think of my wife, I always think of her head. The shape of it, to begin with. The very first time I saw her, it was the back of the head I saw, and there was something so lovely about it, the angles of it. Like a shiny, hard corn kernel or a riverbed fossil. She had what the Victorians would call a finely shaped head. You could imagine the skull quite easily. I’d know her head anywhere.” From Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

If you’re anything like me, you’ve read numerous articles and blog posts about great openings. You may have even listened to authors, editors and agents talk about it in workshops and conferences. I know I’ve talked about it here before. With that being said, I still think we sometimes get so wrapped up in our own writing (the plot, the character development, etc.) that we forget the importance of a great opening. Especially if, like me, you’re still trying to find your place in the world of writing fiction.

This past week, I sent out a few queries for my middle-grade novel. When I saw a response pop up in my inbox from one of the agents an hour later, I inwardly groaned to myself, thinking, “here we go.” But I was pleasantly surprised with what the intern who read my opening pages had to say when explaining why they had decided to pass on my submission. She wrote “It seems like you start the manuscript too far before the actual story (i.e., where things get interesting) starts.” Considering an editor at another publishing house also told me that “This is a fascinating premise . . . but in the end I’m afraid I’m just not drawn to [the main character’s] voice enough to take on this project,” I had an important epiphany.

First of all, I am thrilled that two industry professionals actually took the time to read my submission and tell me why it didn’t grab them. I realized that it is time for me to stop sending out queries and go back to my story. My opening pages aren’t hooking anyone, but I know there are parts later in the book that will. It’s time to figure out how to move the action from the middle of the book way forward and stop spinning my wheels.

I’d love to hear your experiences with opening pages of your writing projects. How do you make sure you wow your readers with the opening page? Have you ever realized you were burying the best part of your story in the second half of your book or article?

Renee Roberson is an award-winning writer and editor who also blogs at Renee's Pages.

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4 comments agent queries, constructive criticism, Gillian Flynn, John Green, Renee Roberson, writing advice, writing revisions

Hints on Giving Helpful Writing Critiques

All helpful critiques are alike; each unhelpful critique is unhelpful in its own way.

I’ve been a part of many different writing workshops and critique groups – some of which were fun, positive experiences that left me feeling refreshed and energized. Others left me feeling like I should never write again.

Whether you are enrolled in a creative writing workshop, discussing a story in your writing group, or giving a friend some feedback on her story, here are some general guidelines for giving a good critique.

Positive Feedback

First, start by giving the writer some positive feedback. What did you like best about the story? Even if it is poorly written or on a subject in which you have no interest, there is something good about the piece. Maybe it is only a particular sentence or a phrase that you liked, but at least that’s something. Writers get nervous when they have their work critiqued, and it’s best to make them feel more comfortable by starting on a positive note.

Make Suggestions

Next, discuss elements of the story that could be improved. Unless a story has been critiqued once or several times, there is probably at least one element that could be improved. Maybe there are inconsistencies with the character’s personality. Perhaps the pacing is off and more time needs to be spent on one scene rather than another. In rough drafts there are often typos and misspellings. Unless the writer has specifically asked for help with this or the errors are so bad that they impede your ability to focus on the story, do not dwell on small mistakes like typos. They can be corrected in later drafts.

You can also ask the writer questions on her/his intentions with the story. Asking questions is especially useful when you critique parts of a novel. You may not be sure where the story is going yet, but by asking the writer questions like, “Does Doug end up falling for Mary?” will help the writer focus her/his intentions. You could also suggest where you would like to see the story go, such as saying, “I hope Mary moves back to Seattle instead of marrying Doug.”

Give Encouragement

At the end of a critique, give some encouraging words, like, “I'm looking forward to reading more!” or “Keep going with this!” Reiterate the positive aspects of the writing. It can be daunting for writers, especially new writers, to have others read, analyze, and criticize the writing that they have put your heart and soul into. Keep this in mind before becoming overly critical of a piece of writing. On the other hand, giving all positive feedback without any suggestions for improvement is just as unhelpful.

The key to a great critique is finding the balance between positive and critical feedback. You want to be helpful but you also don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. It may take some time to find that balance, but just like with writing, it will get easier with practice.

by Anne Greenawalt at http://www.annegreenawalt.com/

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2 comments Anne Greenawalt, constructive criticism, critique, critique groups

Giving Advice

What do you do when a good friend or relative asks you to read her manuscript, give it a "critique" (or at least tell her what you think of it), and. . .it's not good? Not only is it not good, but it also breaks all the rules of writing--all the rules that first-time authors are definitely supposed to follow. She makes mistakes like changing points of view without any sort of pattern, using cliche sentences and story lines, and including improper grammar and punctuation. What do you do?

Do you save your relationship and tell her it's great? Do you tell her a few things you like and gently explain some of the mistakes? Do you offer resources she should read before she continues writing? OR do you just give a completely honest critique because she asked for it?

Some published authors I know won't read people's manuscripts for this very reason. They don't want to put themselves in a situation where someone close to them has hurt feelings. Let's face it--we 're all close to our writing; and even if we know there are problems with our story and we want to learn how to fix them, it still hurts when every single person who reads our work doesn't think it's brilliant.

It's hard to say no, however, when someone very close to you is excited about writing and asks you to read a manuscript and give your opinion. So, what do you do? Has this ever happened to you? How did you handle it? If you did give honest advice, how did the receiver take it? Did the person even listen to you?

On a day when we celebrate fathers (Happy Father's Day! to any dads or soon-to-be dads out there) and think about all the advice our own dads have given us over the years, I thought it would be appropriate to ponder this situation about giving advice (critiques), which is sure to happen to many of us writers at sometime in our lives.

post by Margo L. Dill, www.margodill.com
photo by AMagill www.flickr.com

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9 comments constructive criticism, critique, Father's Day, Margo L. Dill

Friday Speakout: To Be or Not To Be, Guest Post by Michelle Dwyer

To Be or Not To Be

by Michelle Dwyer

Like most college students, I had to take upper-level, intensive writing classes to graduate. And I dare say that most upper-level, intensive writing professors hate the dreaded “be” verbs. Those short words that provide the oxygen needed to breathe—the words that seem impossible to erase from our prose (am, I, are, was, were, be, being, been). So like many who have come before me, and who will come later, I worked hard to avoid such unwelcomed words in order to walk across the stage with a decent grade point average.

Abstaining from these words proved difficult enough. I didn’t need a professor who would take the term pet-peeve to a new level.

But that’s exactly what I got.

He docked an entire letter grade for every “be” verb he found in a student’s work. That’s right! Five “be” verbs on an assignment equaled a failing grade. He felt too many “be” verbs made papers too passive. (My guess is that some editors feel this way as well.) Needless to say I put in many hours of time and effort, many more of search and replace, and even more of total revisions.

I aced the class. I deserved to. And for the classes that followed, my papers carried a sharp, crisp, tight flow. My education definitely made me a better writer.

However something happened to me when I graduated. I got lazy and started writing extremely passive when delving into my fiction work. Fiction evokes passions, makes writing fun. Why cloud it with such a thing as attention to detail, right? I mean, c’mon. I have to work at creating stories? Are you serious?

Yes.

I didn’t figure this out until my contest entries and articles failed to make the cut with everyone. For a while, instead of humbling myself enough to find out what I was lacking, I simply chalked it up to “the industry” and continued. I knew my writings had the merit to win contests and/or get published. But they weren’t great. It wasn’t until I took advantage of WOW!’s critique service did my articles and stories pop.

I began applying the advice (write with a more active voice) from the critiques to all of my work; hence, I have reverted back to catching those “bees”. I’ve since sold one nonfiction article, won my first writing contest, and placed as a runner-up in the most recent flash fiction contest with WOW!.

*And if anybody remembers from my last post, nonfiction doesn’t like me very much. So selling nonfiction is validation for sure.*

Now for the moral: I’m sure somebody can read this article and find some “be” verbs. I haven’t discovered perfection. I may never. Sometimes I’m too wordy, other times too fluffy. Sometimes I just need use “be” verbs. We all do, even accomplished authors. But every day I learn to respect the craft of writing a little more.

Embracing criticism doesn’t make a writer weak. It makes a writer write.


Michelle studied writing in high school and longed to become an author. But circumstances arose, causing her to join the military instead. However, she never gave up. She enrolled in writing school, finished her first crime novel, and will achieve her MBA this fall. She writes as Krymzen Hall at http://www.helium.com/users/421563/show_articles


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Do you want to reach WOW’s audience? We welcome short posts (500 words or less) from writers just like you! You can include your bio, pic, and links to your website/blog for promotion. Our only requirement is that your post be about women and writing. Send your Friday “Speak Out!” post to: marcia[at]wow-womenonwriting[dot]com for consideration.


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6 comments constructive criticism, finding Passive Sentences, Friday Speak Out, Michelle Dwyer

In the Face of Criticism and Rejection

Have you ever felt like this poor Boxer in the picture when you have received a rejection or listened to criticism on your work or read a bad review about your book? I know I have. But what do you think this dog is going to do in an hour or two? Still look defeated and like he lost his best friend? No way! If you know anything about Boxers, he'll be wagging his tail and chasing a ball. Who knew we could learn an important lesson from a dog?

I attended the Missouri Writers' Guild conference this weekend and part of the program was called, "First Reads." This is where one to two pages of a conference attendee's manuscript is read aloud (anonymously), and then editors or agents comment on what they think about the piece. Would they keep reading if it showed up on their desks? What did they like? What didn't they like? and so on. I've been to several of these types of programs at conferences, and the good news is they are very helpful to see inside the minds of the people whom we want to represent and publish our work. The bad news is these sessions are often brutal.

The panel of editors and agents voicing their opinions on the "First Reads" are often like the American Idol judges. There's a Simon, there's a Paula, and there's a Kara/Randy. And the "Simon" editor ALWAYS winds up hurting some writer's feelings to the point where the writer doesn't want to attend the rest of the conference.

So, I decided to write this blog for two reasons. One--as a warning--if you are a new writer or are very sensitive to criticism of your work, then you SHOULD NOT put your work in these types of sessions. The advice you hear on other people's work is still valuable, and you can learn from them. Go to a few conference or critique group sessions before you participate in a First Read.

Number two is my larger point. As writers, we need to develop thick skin and a bounce-back ability because this career is hard. Even if you are the most wonderful writer in the world, someone isn't going to like your work. What's that cliche? You can't please everybody all the time, and that definitely applies here. If you want to be a successful writer, you're going to have to learn to face rejection and criticism, pout for a while like our Boxer above, and then go wag your tail and chase your dream.

If you are an American Idol fan, as I am, then I'll close with this. . .this season Adam Lambert is by far the best singer. He's favored to win more than any other contestant before, I think. On all the American Idol sites, he's what the commentators write about. I think he's great, and I can't wait for his performance each week. BUT. . .I'm sure we could easily find people who don't like him for one reason or another. They are rejecting him. Do you think Adam Lambert should go home and not attend the rest of the contest because of these rejections and criticisms? "Of course not," you say. "He would be crazy!" So, think about that the next time you want to give up when you're handed a rejection.

Happy writing!
Margo Dill
http://www.margodill.com/
Read These Books and Use Them (blog)
photo by dbking www.flickr.com

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4 comments Adam Lambert, American Idol, constructive criticism, Margo Dill, Missouri Writers' Guild, Rejection Letters

Walk the Line: Critiquing Another’s Work

by Susan L. Eberling

“ ‘. . . George took Christina into his arms as the sun set into the ocean. They kissed and they knew they would always be together.’ Well, that’s the end of my story. What do you think?”

A good friend sits before you, waiting for an answer. Her eyes are full of hope, expectation, and a twinkle of fear. This writer has waited all day, all week, maybe all month to come to writers’ group and hear what you have to say about her short story.

So what are you going to say?

Critiquing another’s work can feel like walking on a dangerous precipice. On one hand, no story in its first draft is complete or perfect, major revisions are always needed. But, if careful, you can point your friend towards tightening the plot, increasing suspense, or developing characters. On the other hand, a story just shared is like your friend’s baby, her emotions will be tied up in what you say about her writing, both good and bad.

So how do you walk this high road of giving honest criticism that makes a piece of writing better and while being sensitive to the writer’s feelings? Here are four suggestions for careful walking as you give feedback and criticism:

• Use a checklist

Plot, setting, point of view, conflict. These are objective aspects of any piece of fiction. You can evaluate the plot of your friend’s piece without foisting your opinion on her work. Plot is a literary device that needs to be strong and clear in any piece of fiction. Help your friend evaluate the strength of her plot, or the details of her setting, or the reasonableness of the conflict. By focusing on these devices that create good fiction, you will be giving her thoughtful, specific suggestions to consider. Victory Crayne has a great checklist and tips for critiquing at www.crayne.com.

• Admit your filters

Your friend just shared her romantic short story with you, but you hate romantic literature. Tell her. Crayne says, “Let the author know if this is not your favorite type of story. This may help them better understand your viewpoint. Things you do not like in the story may very well appeal to a fan of that genre.”

Let your friend know that in your world romance is not on your top 10 list of things to read. This way if you start to seem disdainful, she will know that it is not about her and her writing, it is about your own style and preferences.

• Create a safe haven

“It’s easy to easy to tear a piece of writing to shreds,” say Charlie Schulman in The Portable MFA in Creative Writing, “but being critical in a positive, tactful and constructive manner takes time and careful consideration.” Set aside a good chunk of time to hear the writer’s story or to read a copy of the story on your own. Simply skimming the piece or not listening attentively could lead to snap judgments or misunderstanding of the style or theme of the piece. Also, create an environment where risk is tolerated and even bad writing can be nurtured into good writing. Schulman encourages critics to “balance support with challenging suggestions”.

• Major on the majors

Unless your friend’s story is on the way to the publisher’s in the morning, use your critiquing opportunity to analyze the bigger issues of style, characterization, plot and theme. Leave grammar and punctuation until the end of a critique or a later draft.


Critiquing is about encouragement and calling each other out to be better writers. Everyone wins when you are honest about the faults and flaws of a fellow writer’s story yet able to keep her hope alive that someday, after revision, she will have a draft of a story that she can be proud of. Hopefully, through your example, others will walk the same line for you as you share your work.

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Leave a Comment constructive criticism, critique, critique groups, Susan L. Eberling, writing buddies, writing support

Criticism That Builds Up

As writers, we’ve all dreamt of the day when our work will be held up as a standard of the highest quality in literature, and publishers and academics will flock to us, seeking our influential opinions on every upstart new writer whose work begs to be shelved alongside our own. But I’m sure few can attest to lying awake at night thinking of the glow you’ll see in your pastor’s, coworker’s, or father-in-law’s eyes, when he tells you he’s heard you’ve done “a little writing” and would love it if you could instruct him how to make his memoir a bestseller. That is, unless the vision is accompanied by a cold sweat.

Inevitably, the Christmas dinner conversation that flirts momentarily with your plans for your next novel turns, without warning, to said friend’s or relative’s work in progress, and his hopes for your help in getting his work out there. You tell him modestly that you will offer whatever knowledge you have about the publishing biz, and that you’d be happy to look over his manuscript and give some suggestions. In return, he gives up his laptop joyfully, and you spend the next hour or so confronted with a draft that, quite honestly, looks as though it earned a B-plus in some eleventh-grader’s Term Paper Composition course.

Beloved Friend/Daughter-in-law: take heart. Sure, you could stay on your high horse, feet in the stirrups, waiting for the trumpets to hail your grand march into the halls of academia. But that day may never come, and here, right here, is an opportunity to make an impact on one person’s career. One person, who is very close to you, who is starting out much the same way you did not so long ago.

Start by reading the draft with an open but realistic mind. Okay, so this isn’t going to make the New York Times’ list next month. Sooner or later your friend or loved one will have to square himself to that fact—as will you, yourself, no doubt. There is no need to say anything right now that would make him want to give up altogether. Keep the faith that, if you once started out in second grade writing new endings to “Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,” surely given the right amount of patience and hard work your friend could achieve the same literary success you have.

When you come across problems, note them quietly to yourself without interrupting your reading to find him and ask him questions. Also, read closely so that you don’t miss anything you shouldn’t. The last thing you want to do is mention you didn’t get that his protagonist was female, when he can show you each instance of the word “she” in the fifth paragraph. Your credibility lies with his assumption that you care enough about this to give him the most thoughtful, constructive criticism you can muster. You would not want to be let down this way, so keep your comments to him limited to things you can clearly point out and suggest alternatives for.

Don’t hold his work up to some unrealistic standard. When you read it and think to yourself, “It isn’t Faulkner,” that only begs the question: “What similar follies have you been poisoning your own writing with?” Recognize that it is hardly ever fair to compare one person’s writing style with another’s.

But this does not mean that you have to shoulder this task with no measuring stick to refer to. Read the draft again, and this time, select one section that speaks the strongest to you. Identify what you responded to: Did it yield an interesting character quirk? A clever scrap of dialogue? An effective plot hook? Be very generous in hunting out all the things about this passage that you really liked. Then read it to him aloud, sharing with him these elements you noticed he used well. You must admit, it feels great to hear someone read your words with interest and sincerity! And it makes you want to trust the reader who treats your work with the attention it deserves. So don’t be stingy with that gift! Read it aloud with vigor—and then, if you felt his overall draft was lacking some of these things, this is your chance to reinforce your ideas of what could work to make it better.

If done right, your criticism will not dampen his healthy optimism but will energize him to look for the necessary elements of good writing and use them more frequently. Constructive criticism isn’t a wrecking ball, and it isn’t about laying the stones yourself (or throwing them). It’s simply about pointing out which are the best building blocks to use, and helping a fellow builder see how they fit.

written by: AK

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